Kat Schultz

I just read an article here about a set of parents who decided to keep their child’s sex identity a secret until he was five. The only reason he was ousted was because he entered school.

Many people argue that she had gone to extreme lengths to feminize her son, allowing him to wear a pink bikini but not allowing him to wear shirts that scream “I’m a boy!” such as ones with skulls on them. Granted, I don’t like shirts with skulls on them on either of my boys, but that was only one of the few clearly defined types of masculine clothing banned by the boy’s parents.

Others argue that it’s an experiment set by the boy’s parents. Some argue it is setting the child up for loads of ridicule in the future. Teasing and taunting by his peers while the boy is sent to school in his uniform half boy, half girl.

I personally sort of understand the parents meaning behind this. However, I still do not agree with the length’s these parents are taking to allow the child his own identity.

My own son is allowed to play with whatever toys he wishes to play with. He has dolls and he has cars, he has a kitchen set loaded with play food and a tool bench loaded with tools. He loves them all equally. When he is at his friends house, he gladly plays with her “feminine” toys and she doesn’t seem to mind playing with his “masculine” toys. In fact, he REALLY wants one of those Playhouses, my husband and I have been trying to find one similar to his friends, because he likes that one. No luck still. Hoping on a garage sale find one of these days.

My son LOVES Dora the Explorer. (He is also very fond of Go, Diego Go!) When he turned two, he need a new pair of shoes. Off to Target we went. I allow him a lot of say in the things he gets. Clothes, Toys and even shoes. However, the pair of shoes he wanted the most were a pair of pink Dora the Explorer shoes. I am sorry, he does not know what genderization is. But, I could not bring myself to buy them for him, even though I wanted to – just to please him! So I showed him all of the boys shoes and he ended up picking a pair that lit up. He was content with that. So, we walked to the toy isle and I got him a Dora toy. Problem solved!

As screwed up as it may be, we have a set of standard norms in our society. Of course things always change over time, else I’d be sitting here writing this in a Poodle Skirt, although, I don’t think I’d mind that actually. It’s also different for boys than it is girls. Girls are given much less thought when they are seen running around dressed like a boy. But to see a boy running around in a dress? It does not bode well for that child.

I also want to express that these parents are not so much allowing their child freedom of choice (as his choices are limited by *banned* items), but more forcing him into a life of feminism. There is a very strong difference there. As an example, a woman that I had once lived near had the most adorable little boy I’d ever seen, except he was a she. Admittedly, at first thought I was appalled by this situation. So were others. I never actually got the chance to get to know this family before I moved, but I was insanely curious. It went beyond the typical “tom-boy” you see. This girl lived like a boy. I’d even heard her father call her names like, “Bud” instead of “Sweetheart”. My dearest and best-friend who I sadly left behind is now wonderful friends with this woman and her family. I could slap myself a thousand times for my feelings because I judged without knowing her. This child TRULY was given freedom of choice. It was not a social experiment. The child wants to be a boy. Her [his] family supports him. It’s actually endearing! But as a mother I can understand.

A mother of two boys and I want a girl!! I’d be a little heartbroken if my girl decided that she was a BOY. But with the love in my heart that I have for my children I would support her the best I could. Which is what this mother does, supports her daughter [son]. Same if one of my boys decided he’d rather be a girl. Later in life, I am sure that the kids will become crueler.  Kids are cruel no matter what. Finding flaws in a person seems to be everyone’s most treasured gift in life. As a parent we want to protect our children. Why is it that most parents will recite their child’s name over and over and rhyme it with words but to test what may take place later in life. As an example, I could never name my daughter Aisha Serena Schultz. ASS! I am trying to convince my younger brother not to name his kid Cooper as a first name. Cooper Pooper! If your last name is Cox, don’t name your daughter Sookie. So even before our children are born we are trying to protect them.

But you can only do so much. But, please, even if boys like shiny and frilly things, don’t take pictures of the kid wearing his older sister pink bikini and sure as hell don’t announce it to the entire world so that more than his peers think the boy is a bit odd.